Top Ten Signs of an Asian Household

Take these with a grain of salt and a sense of humor. I have to admit, though, that there is some truth to these observations. These apply to my family's house and the homes of most of my Asian friends. You just know walking into a house that it could be owned by an Asian if:

1. In the foyer, there’s an altar to the ancestors. It’s typically red-stained woods with red blinking lights.
2. Open the dishwasher and it’s full of mismatched Tupperware.
3. The backyard is mostly concrete.
4. There’s a gas range outside for cooking.
5. Large winter melons grow in the backyard.
6. The garage can double as a supermarket. Stockpiling is an art.
7. All the walls are white, white, white.
8. The bathroom seems remodeled, but in different styles and shades of tile.
9. Pairs of shoes line the entrance to the house.
10. The property has a gate, fence or some other impediment blocking direct access to the house.